Politics of Caring: First Hand

So I wanted to share a story that ties in with a lot of what we have been talking about.

As many of you know, a large percentage of my students are Hispanic or Latino.  Coming from a culture where machismo is expected and feelings are kept private, it is often difficult to get students to open up.  I like to think that there is something about me that puts people at ease; earlier I stopped at the liquor store (for cooking purposes, not because I desperately need to binge drink) and the clerk there tried out a few jokes that I am assuming are destined for her open mic night stand up act.  Be that as it may, it is often difficult with some of my students.

One in particular did a stellar job first term.  He had all A's and B's in every class.  Then second term rolled around and he slipped.  "It's an off term" I told myself.  I checked with him, he said nothing was wrong, and we moved on.  Third term showed a huge drop in his grades, effort, everything.  He would show up to class unprepared, no work from the previous day, no pen.  I asked him every day what was going on and got nothing.  Eventually I expressed my frustrations to him.  He told me that he didn't like his history teacher and that if he did well he would get put into honors history next year and have the same teacher.  I explained that his Biology grade has nothing to do with his history placement and things seemed to change for the better.  Within days it was the same song and dance.

He came in to talk to me on Friday last week because he was in a class that he didn't want to be in.  Surprise surprise, it was history.  He often does this, but this Friday they had gotten report cards.  "What's wrong with you??  Unsatisfactory effort?  Inconsistent work?  What the effffff!".  I told him flat out "You have been a mega slacker this term" and went on to explain what I meant by that.  I again asked him what was going on and he told me the history thing.  I again explained how it works and followed up with "What's going on?  Why the change?"  It was at this point that he told me it was my fault and that I needed to yell more (oddly enough this is something that a couple of kids have requested).  Finally he told me "I can't tell you.  It's family stuff".

This wouldn't be the first time, nor will it be the last time that I have heard this.  When faced with this all that you can do is say "OK well if you want to share, let me know".  His first instinct was to refuse but then he kind of shocked me.  "Actually you're the only teacher that I can trust on in this whole school"  He went on to explain that second term his grandfather had passed away.  After that, things started going downhill, he started getting angry, and his grades started slipping.  I took that opportunity to thank him for sharing that with me, assured him that I wouldn't share it with his guidance counselor or his other teachers if he didn't want me to, and shook his hand.  I knew that it took a lot for him to share that and I knew that the ball was now in my court to help him.

Yes, this is just one student.  Yes, in the grand scheme of things, I have invested boatloads more time on this one student than many of my others.  Yes, that five minutes on Friday made a huge impact on both of us. 

I think that, for me, this is a sign that I am doing something right.  Certainly not everything, but at least something.  Some students latch on very quickly and open up just as easily, with others it takes an investment of time and caring, but when students see that you care and students see that "My other teachers are mean, but you're the only nice one" it opens up so many possibilities.